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by Sarah Cavendish on 2005 May 1 - 11:58 | reply to this comment Public, Private, Semi-private I know that for me, public displays of that nature (ie: gentle reminder not to drink hard liquor) wouldn't overly bother me. The friends and family who would most likely hear this sort of exchange would simply chalk it up to the man being what he was born to be: the leader in the relationship. Although I'm not in a relationship, and have only been in one relationship even remotely resembling this in my life, I was raised to treat men respectfully, so actually saying "Yes, Sir," in public situations or even in front of my family would be no big deal to me. I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination, and all my friends know and understand that about me so that wouldn't be a problem to me. The only time I've ever had anyone question it was when a female acquaintance who is a very liberal feminist started questioning me. I just gently asked her, "Have you ever been happy in one of your relationships?" That seemed to quiet her as she had to admit that she hadn't. I'm still looking for the right one, but I know that this is a dynamic I'm definitely looking for in my future marriage partner.
by Jodima on 2005 May 2 - 12:18 | reply to this comment Have You Ever Been Happy The funny thing is, your friend could have asked you exactly the same question. Why do you assume that your way of relating to men is going to bring you more happiness than hers will for her?
"Pat"
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2005 May 2 - 14:01 | reply to this comment How can you tell? If you're not in a relationship, how can you tell in advance whether yours is likely to be happier than someone else's?
by Louise C on 2005 May 2 - 19:36 | reply to this comment Re: Pat and Louise Pat, because my way of relating to men already does make me happier. Since I've been working on fixing my attitude myself, I've had much happier relationships. Although I haven't found "the one" yet, I know that this way works for me. As to how I knew about my friend, well, let's just say she has a habit of complaining to me about her boyfriends. Needless to say, I would not use the same approach for a total stranger. I'm assuming every adult has the right to live in any sort of relationship he or she chooses.
Louise, I said I'm not in a relationship right now. That doesn't mean I have no experience in this. I did have a relationship in which we tried to use some aspects of DD, but the relationship didn't end up working, not because of the DD but because we were just wanting different things out of life. However, I am still friends with that person, I think largely because I was respectful to him and treated him like a man and not like an unwanted naughty puppy who was invading my life. I've seen the way many women treat their husbands, and it makes me cringe. Either way, as I told Pat, I know what this is what _I_ want for my life. You and every other adult
