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If my husband noticed something was bothering me (and he always does notice) and he demanded that I tell him what was wrong, or threatened me with punishment if I didn't, this would immediately put my back up and send me into a stubborn determination not to tell him. I would not feel submissive.
What he does is ask me what's bothering me, and if I say, as I quite often do, that there's nothing, he'll say firmly "Yes, there is, I can tell. Tell me what it is, we're supposed to tell each other things, remember, it's the new era of Detente" or something like that. This sort of gentle firmness makes me immediately melt and spill the beans, whereas demanding or threatening wouldn't.
It's what Jeeves calls the psychology of the individual.
by Louise C on 2005 Jan 10 - 07:53 | reply to this comment Gentle demanding Often, people find it difficult to say something that they really do want to say. If the man were to demand (in a kind, gentle way) to know something, that might well make it much easier and be just what the Taken In Hand woman wants.
Taken In Hand women generally like to feel their man's control. If he (politely, kindly) demands an answer, the Taken In Hand woman is likely to find that pleasant and possibly erotic, rather than unpleasant and off-putting. Remember the context. :-)
